Once again, it seems like the lives of those around me are going through their own private hells as I breeze through by some lucky stroke of chance (or some chancy stroke of luck).  Is it mere coincidence or the results of choices we make or some combination of these things that lead to horrible or at the very least undesirable outcomes we face at various times in our lives. 

First my friend and neighbor, N- - - -, chose to file for divorce from her husband of 10 years because she has fallen out of love for him and has decided that maybe she never truly loved him at all, or at least not for a really long time.  It has gotten spiteful, as divorce will, and both have shown their malevolent sides.  And she is normally such a kind and peaceful person, and she is a good friend and I listen to her vent.  She will get through this.

My friend, Linda, whose mom died a week short of a year ago (see blog for September 1, 2006), is once again facing the death of a loved one. Her husband, Dave, was out riding a motorcycle on the 12^th, didn’t see a stop sign and was hit in a country road intersection.  I suppose Linda should be grateful that she had a migraine that day and didn’t go with him, but right now, Dave lay in a coma, with his left temporal lobe and skull removed.  Linda will be pulling the plug today or tomorrow.  It’s gonna take a long time, as she is feeling she can’t live without Dave, but she too will get through this.

Three days ago, I hugged my grandson’s friend T----.  She’s a sweet little girl of 10, always smiling.  My daughter called yesterday to say that T---- had been molested by a neighbor who lives 6 doors down in their not-so-great neighborhood.  The police were at the T---‘s house at that moment.    Today I learned that the cops had confronted the guy who became suicidal saying he’d rather die than go to jail, and then took a few steps toward the door.  The cops missed their mark by a foot or so when they shot him in the leg and arrested him.  T--- will probably never fully get over this.  Children rarely do.

As a sympathetic person, I grieve for my friends and the horrors they are facing and the innocence they have lost, the wounds that must now heal.  At times of dreadful events, their minds are probably turning to the “what ifs?” They are probably wondering what they could have done differently to make the outcome any way other than the way it all unfolded.  In the end, they all will turn around and put their lives, different now, back together

  

We have found ourselves in a moral dilemma.  You know?  One of those situations when there are two ways to go and both of them could end up disastrous?  My grandson has a friend who lives with his father and younger sister.  The decision is whether to just ignore the situation or to call in children’s services.  Let me explain the situation and how we even got involved.

“Bobby” was over at my daughter’s house playing with my grandson, and had brought his little sister with him.  My grandson asked me if I could take the little sister home as Bobby was going to spend the night at my daughter’s house.  Not wanting to see the little girl have to walk the mile to her house alone, I said I would.  My daughter rolled her eyes – a curious response that would be explained later.  My daughter asked if their dad was home and Bobby said he was. Bobby came along for the trip.  When we got to the house, Bobby asked his sister if she had her key.  I thought it strange that he should ask. 

“Is your dad home?”   I asked. 

“Yeah”, he replied.  Sister got out of the truck and I waited until I saw her disappear inside the house.

When Bobby and I got back to my daughter’s house, I pulled Aubrey aside to ask what the deal was.  She explained that their father was a drunk and left the children alone in the house every night until the bars closed, they had no food in the house, and that Bobby is the only one who cared for little sister.  In fact, Bobby’s aunt gave him $20 for his birthday and Bobby went to the grocery store to buy food.  What he really needed was a new pair of shoes since my daughter saw he was wearing an old pair of shoes which had belonged to my younger grandson.  Aubrey told him the shoes looked too small for him and he said, “They’re all right.  I wear anywhere between a size 5 and a size 7.”  But the shoes he was wearing were a size 3!

            My son, my daughter and I got in to a discussion about options, and they both agreed that to call Children’s Services could be disastrous since if the children were put into foster care, they would be split up, and foster homes are, by reputation, tough places to be.  Dan and I got into the same discussion and, while we agreed that foster homes are tough, the life they are now living is tough.  We decided that Dan would talk to the guidance counselor at school, who would contact the guidance counselor at Bobby’s school to see what could be done.

            In the best of all worlds, friends, neighbors or some loving relative would step in and take charge of these children.  But this is not the best of all worlds – this is reality.

Everyone who knows me knows I am not a fan of the President.  You probably also would figure I have purchased and listen to Neil Young’s Living with War CD.  It brings tears to my eyes because of Young’s absolute passion for his subject, even if the cadence to his poetry is lacking at times. 

In his song Lookin’ for a Leader  (see lyrics below) he discusses the possibility of electing a new President, which I am so in favor of it makes me cry to listen to it.  It makes me feel like a rebel, which I may be in the eyes of many.  It’s good to hear such anti-establishment words again in an age when apathy seems to rule.

I do not, however, agree that maybe a woman or a black man could be selected as a candidate.  While I do hope for such a radical change, I do not think it will happen in this country because, while the people would vote for a Democratic candidate, some sub groups of Democrats would not want a black President or will believe that a woman should not be elected to such an office.  Unless that changes, Barak Obama and Hilary Clinton should not seek to be the Democratic pick in 2008, as I don’t think they have a chance against whoever the GOP chooses.  I hope I am wrong about the bigotry and stereotypes I see existing in this society, but I think the Democrats need to choose a candidate that is “electable.”

LOOKIN' FOR A LEADER

Lookin' for a Leader
To bring our country home
Re-unite the red white and blue
Before it turns to stone

Lookin' for somebody
Young enough to take it on
Clean up the corruption
And make the country strong

Walkin' among our people
There's someone who's straight and strong
To lead us from desolation
And a broken world gone wrong

Someone walks among us
And I hope he hears the call
And maybe it's a woman
Or a black man after all

Yeah maybe it's Obama
But he thinks that he's too young
Maybe it's Colin Powell
To right what he's done wrong

America has a leader
But he's not in the house
He's waling here among us
And we've got to seek him out

Yeah we've got our election
But corruption has a chance
We got to have a clean win
To regain confidence

America is beautiful
But she has an ugly side
We're lookin' for a leader
In this country far and wide

We're lookin' for a leader
With the great spirit on his side

Someone walks among us
And I hope he hears the call
And maybe it's a woman
Or a black man after all

By ANDREW BRIDGES, Associated Press Writer Sat Nov 18, 6:12 AM ET

WASHINGTON - The Bush administration, to the consternation of its critics, has picked the medical director of an organization that opposes premarital sex, contraception and abortion to lead the office that oversees federally funded teen pregnancy, family planning and abstinence programs. I’m paying for this shit??!!

The appointment of Eric Keroack, a Marblehead, Mass. obstetrician and gynecologist, to oversee the federal Office of Population Affairs and its $283 million annual budget has angered family-planning advocates. My husband says that I, one of those angry family-planning advocates, should not stress over something I can do nothing about, but I CAN write about it and get the word out!  I can and will write to my congressmen and voice my dissatisfaction about this appointment.

Keroack currently is medical director of A Woman's Concern, a Christian nonprofit. The Dorchester, Mass.-based organization runs six centers in the state that offer free pregnancy testing, ultrasounds and counseling. It also works to "help women escape the temptation and violence of abortion," according to its statement of faith. And it opposes contraception, saying its use increases out-of-wedlock pregnancy and abortion rates.

"A Woman's Concern is persuaded that the crass commercialization and distribution of birth control is demeaning to women, degrading of human sexuality and adverse to human health and happiness," its contraception policy reads in part.  My question: “who’s happiness?  More adverse to health in what regard?  Does this take into account the adverse effects of pregnancy on people who are physically ill to begin with -- like drug addicts and alcoholics and victims of chronic diseases?”  According to Keroack, women should either stop having sex or deal with pregnancy after pregnancy throughout their childbearing years!!!

"The appointment of anti-birth control, anti-sex education advocate Dr. Eric Keroack to oversee the nation's family planning program is striking proof that the Bush administration remains dramatically out of step with the nation's priorities," Cecile Richards.   Keroack’s appointment threatens to throw this nation back into the age of before Roe v Wade and thus to back alley abortion clinics.  That is very scary!!

Keroack's appointment as deputy assistant secretary for population affairs does not require Senate confirmation. He is expected to start work in the next several weeks,

The department's assistant secretary for health, Dr. Johnor Agwunobi, cited Keroack's experience in working primarily with "women and girls in crisis" in lauding his appointment.

"He regularly speaks to youth audiences on sexual risk behaviors and has been nationally recognized for his work on preventing teen pregnancy," Agwunobi said.

 

 

 

 

Because the rights of a smoker begin when he or she picks up a cigarette or a pipe and ends when the smoke from that receptacle and hits my nose, mouth, lungs, hair, or clothes, it is now illegal to smoke in any establishment that employs people in the state of Ohio.  Other people’s smoke bothers me; it burns my eyes and the smell of burning tobacco lingers long in my clothes.  I am happy that this law passed – I hope that it is strictly enforced.  How it will effect businesses remains to be seen.

Other states – and the whole country of Canada – have smoking laws and there are numerous and creative ways businesses deal with it.  For one, some bars become private clubs with dues and everything so that they do not lose clientele.  Some “smoke friendly” cabbies in New York City have a set charge for people who just wanna ride around the block and have a smoke. Other places have lost some customers but gained some also because some people avoided clubs and bars because of the smoke.

People have said that they don’t think it’s fair to outlaw smoking in public places because drunk drivers kill ‘a lot more people’ and bars are still allowed to serve alcohol. That’s one of the most puzzling comments I have ever heard.  For one thing, neither killing people quickly by driving recklessly while drinking OR killing them slowly by exposing them to your tobacco smoke is a good thing.  As far as statistics go, I have no idea about the comparison in numbers of people killed are more by the sudden and traumatic deaths due to accidents caused by drunk drivers or slow and agonizing deaths of people who do not smoke yet are given the “gift” of lung cancer or emphysema from second-hand smoke – not to mention children who are given asthma because of parents or coworkers who smoke. (every year in the U.S., an estimated 15,000 lifelong nonsmokers die of lung cancer.) http://www.webmd.com/content/article/122/114604?src=RSS_PUBLIC

When you smoke your filtered cigarette, the smoke is filtered, but the shit that trails from the other end—the burning end – is pure unfiltered poison.  Just like the rights of freedom of speech end when what you say hits the ears of another person and the rights of freedom of expression applies only when it is coupled with personal responsibility, your right to smoke is truly a right given to you.  If you want to smoke – smoke, but it is your responsibility to see to it that your actions are not negatively effecting anyone else – THUS THE LAW!

November 7 is Election Day, and I take my right to vote VERY seriously. I spent an entire day today researching the candidates and the issues that will be in the hands of the voters in one week.  Most issues I always vote yes on and always need to come back every few years with hands outstretched.  I can never say No to school issues or issues that pay the salaries of police, firefighters, keep up the arts and culture facilities, or our streets.  I’m a sucker for non-profits!

But the big issue in Ohio this time is the smoking issues!  Yes, there is more than one issue – and it is causing a lot of confusion. Passage of Issue 4 allows smoking much the same way as it is now except it overturns about 20 smoke-free laws that are already being enforced right now.  Plus that, if Issue 4 passes, it would be in the Ohio constitution and would make Issue 5 a non issue no matter if it passes or fails.  Passage of Issue 5 will immediately make all places where people work smoke-free!  Oh, and do I need to tell you that Issue 4 is backed by RJ Reynolds and Issue 5 is backed by the American Cancer Society, the American Lung Association, and the American Heart Association.

I do not smoke.  Gave it up in 1982.  I am voting no on issue 4 and yes on issue 5.  I wonder if it really has a chance to win.  I keep mulling it around in my head.  Will everyone who smokes vote against it?  Will everyone who does not smoke vote for it?  Who will be totally confused and not vote the way they really feel?  How many non-smokers are also non-voters?  How many smokers are non-voters?  It is so confusing to watch the ads on television.

            It’s a rainy, gloomy day and things are much the same here for me.  I am still seeking a job.  There is no way that Dan and I can make it on just his check and my disability check.  I need to get a part-time job doing almost anything!  I would like to make at least 6+/hour.  But what qualifications do I have?

          It’s really too bad that ‘gives a great blow-job” doesn’t count, because I do. That kind of job is too risky, not to mention illegal.  But I do have skills, knowledge, and interests that will aid in this endeavor.

          I taught English for 14 years, which proves I am two things: literate and educated.  It also insinuates one thing – I am crazy!  I taught grades 7-12 , but 9^th grade more than anything!  AND I enjoyed it!!! Not only that, but the kids liked me! That takes a person who is at the very least open-minded and more than a little knowledgeable in the things that teenagers are into on any given day.

          I love to read and I love to write!  That’s probably a given since I taught those very things for so long.  I demanded that my students write in journals every day and I, too, wrote in mine and have kept every one of mine from all those years.  I have blogged on three different sites over the years since I retired from teaching, this MSN Spaces site among them.

          I taught Shakespeare every year that I taught at all—and made it enjoyable to most of the students, turning lessons into games and making any reading seem relevant to their lives. And if that’s not a skill, I don’t know what is.

          I deal well with the public, which is a skill very necessary to teaching, where I dealt with students of all types including the most unruly, the angriest and the weepiest (there seems to always be a girl crying in a 7^th or 8^th grade class!)  All of the students I had were just normal kids caught up in the normal happenings of life and school. I have dealt with angry parents, concerned parents, parents who really don’t care,  and the nicest parents imaginable.

          I have fulfilled the demands that the state puts on all teachers in regards to teaching skills within a given curriculum, turning in written lesson plans each week showing how each lesson relates to the state mandates.  I have attended teacher’s meetings, always striving to work above and beyond the call of my duties as a teacher.

          Now that you are all wondering why I don’t teach anymore, it is because in 1991 half my body went numb, then the other half, but never both at the same time.  I lost my balance and walking became a challenge.  I used a cane for a time.  I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS).  I taught for 12 years after that, when the fatigue and memory issues became so bad that I applied for and got disability from the State Teachers Retirement System. 

          The problem with that is that I am no longer allowed to do anything that is in anyway related to teaching or dealing with the public in any way that I might enjoy – like being a librarian, or even a cop or anyone who works for certain unions that employ state or public employees. BUT. . .

          I applied for and turned in resumes recently to Borders, Borders Outlet, Barnes & Noble, and Half-Price Books.  Waiting for calls from them.  The fact that I said I have a masters degree might deem me as overqualified and the fact that I said that I left my last job because of a disability might (although legally it shouldn’t) work against me.  I have applied at my tanning place and at the local drug store.  So far, I have heard from no one.  Does anyone out there have any suggestions???

         

          Things in my house are going well if I don’t count the crying jags I get on nearly daily.  I know it’s all hormonal, so no bother.  I just get attacked by everything from becoming slightly teary to out-and-out sobbing LOUDLY, which is okay since I am alone in the house all day with no one to hear me except the animals and they already know I’m out of my f******* mind!

          Diet is going well, except that I need to get a job so I can be 100% responsible for our food purchases and pet food expenditures.  That would help a lot!!  My check already covers the mortgage and puts money toward our since-cancelled VISA bill.

 To give you an example of how well the diet is working,  Dan walked into the bedroom yesterday and promptly stepped into a pile of fresh cat poo or vomit in his bare feet.  He went into the bathroom and swung his leg up onto the counter so he could rinse his bare foot off in the sink.  Your reaction to this was probably “EWWWW!” (if you have cats, you know they do this at times)  but it is truly amazing that he can swing his leg up to the counter!  A week ago, he could not have done that.  He is being very diligent about what he takes into his body.

          I still have avoided aspartame in any form for 11 days now and I am not missing it al all.  I had known for years that it is a neurotoxin and a trigger for MS, but was unwilling to quit until recently.  This is really good!  I am hoping that if I stay off of it for a few months, maybe I can quit my daily injection – and the extra medical insurance I pay each month to even get the medication.  I wonder if I had known that the 2 liters a day of Diet Pepsi/Diet Coke in 1979 was going to someday short circuit my nervous system would I have continued?  Probably I would have because I have always been the kind of knuckle-headed chick that needs to learn by experience.

          Anyway, the truth, 16 years after my diagnosis and after many tip offs (including a psychiatrist warning me that aspartame is not good for you and even eat holes in the malleable brains of children) is finally sinking in to my thick skull.  It’s hard to quit, but there are plenty of sites online that will help people with a detox diet to help cleanse the body of the poison.  I feel free!

Going to a doctor should leave on feeling better – not worse!  Dan went to  a chiropractor/homeopathic healer on Tuesday, then back for discussion on the results the next day.  The doctor was in Alliance, which is about 2 hours away.  Let me explain what his symptoms are and why he chose to go to this particular doctor.

            He has been very stiff in all joints in the morning due to what was diagnosed as psoriatic arthritis by a rheumatologist.  He has also been perspiring profusely. Been abnormally tired,  unable to concentrate and depressed.  An intolerance to NSAID’s rendered him unable to tolerate sunlight, so he cannot take NSAID’s.  Also learned at that time that psoriasis is an autoimmune disorder. He also has developed high cholesterol.

            His sister Nancy lives in Salem, Ohio and she has a daughter, Kelli, who had suffered from migraines and went to this chiropractor/homeopathic practitioner who said Kelli should not eat these certain foods for a few weeks, and that eventually cleared Kelli of all migraines.  The doctor is expert in both skeletal and organ placement therapies plus mineral deficiencies.  Nancy mentioned other people who had been healed from various ailments, so Dan thought he’d check it out.

            He left on Tuesday morning and came back Wednesday night after two appointments with the doctor.  He was a wreck!!  I’m not even sure how he made it home.  He is walking like an old man and moving very slowly.  I asked him what the doctor had said.

            Apparently, much of his problem stems back to a time several years ago when he wrecked on his motorcycle and suffered a back injury.  She told him he has a severe iodine deficiency that his cerebrum and cerebellum were not operating properly; his liver and thyroid were operating incorrectly.  She gave him homeopathic organically-bound minerals to take three times a day and told him to stop drinking milk (he usually drinks ½ gallon a day), and told him to come back on Friday.  That’s tomorrow.  She said he would probably feel some improvement by then. 

            As for me, I am trying very hard not to become too obsessed with how he’s feeling – like asking him every ten minutes, “Do you feel better?”  I am 8 years older than Dan, but feel he’s so much older than me right now.

           

It was alarming when I first saw my sister four weeks after her accident on her 4-wheeler.  I had never seen anyone up-close who had 6-inch pins inserted directly into the bone, which then stuck out about 5 of those inches to be attached to a metal rod which ran from the knee to the foot.  All of these pins would probably not have been necessary if she had not had road-rash burns the length of her calf that made her lower leg resemble raw hamburger, thus making a cast impossible.  It was hard to look at damage like that and even worse to know that the damage was to my beloved sister. Because she also has a broken shoulder, she cannot use a walker or crutches to move around.

 On the 28^th of this month she gets her pins removed if the x-rays look good.  Maybe then she can move from the wheelchair to a walker.  Maybe then she can progress toward physical therapy.  Maybe then she can learn to walk again.

 

I go back to Vocational Guidance Services on Monday to begin training as a receptionist. Despite what some may think, I have a disability that makes it extremely hard to stand up to the rigors of teaching the full schedule that schools demand today.  I do not like having to veer away from teaching, but anyone who teaches knows what a chore it is.  The state teachers’ retirement system is not an easy body to convince of disability, but after extensive testing, I was found worthy of getting disability payments.  And after receiving disability payments for more than a year, we discovered that we could not make ends meet without my working.  Thus I am seeking a job.  Below, I have highlighted the symptoms that I have. The information comes from

http://ms.about.com/cs/firststeps/a/Diagnose.htm

 

Vision-Related Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms

·  Blurred vision or double vision (diplopia)

·  Loss of vision in one eye

·  Pain when moving one eye

·  Moving or “jumping” field of vision

·  Appearance of numerous or new “floaters” in one or both eyes

Irregular Sensations as Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms

·  Dysesthesia, or altered sensations, such as itching, burning, or pins and needles

·  Electrical shock sensations in the neck and spine

·  Paresthesia or pain

·  Numbness or tingling

·  Weakness in an arm or leg

·  Feeling heavy

·  Loss of strength anywhere in the body

·  Dizziness or vertigo

·  Tightness around the chest

Mobility-Related Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms

·  Poor balance or staggering

·  Development of a limp or dragging foot

·  Paralysis

Involuntary Reactions as Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms

·  Seizures

·  Tremors

·  Spasticity Definition: Extreme muscle tightness resulting from lesions in the nerve pathways

·  Babinski reflex A sign of abnormality in the central nervous system because the big toe moves up rather than down when the side of the foot is stimulated.

Other Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms

·  Headaches

·  Cognitive impairments

            ·  Remembering words

·  Shifting between tasks

·  Processing information

·  Concentrating

·  Organizing both visually and spatially

·  Reasoning abstractly

·  Remembering names, appointment, or location of items

·  Implementing plans or organizing projects

·  Depression

·  Changes in handwriting

·  Fatigue

·  Slurred speech

 

 

I am seriously seeking a job that does #1) does have the demands that full-time teaching demands or demands that my disability will not allow  and #2) is not in any way teaching  or pays into any number of other retirement systems like PERS or SERS  – my disability payment does not allow that.  So that’s why I am seeking a job and I am having such a hard time.

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun
Shine on you crazy diamond
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky
Shine on you crazy diamond
You were caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom, blown on the steel breeze
Come on you target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon
Shine on you crazy diamond
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light
Shine on you crazy diamond
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision, rode on the steel breeze
Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

(Part II)
Nobody knows where you are, how near or how far
Shine on you crazy diamond
Pile on many more layers, and I'll be joining you there
Shine on you crazy diamond
And we'll bask in the shadows of yesterday's triumph, sail on the steel breeze
Come on you boy child, you winner and loser, come on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!

But for the grace of God, go I.  Rest in Peace, Syd Barrett-- 1946-2006

            In my exuberance for exercise (which comes upon me from time to time) I found a really cool and useful website to map how far I walk.  It was actually made for runners, and is called Map My Run.   Boy, this is so much more practical than getting in my car and driving a route before or after I walk it.  Maybe you have already discovered this useful tool, but if not, try it out!   I can put in my address, register for free, and a map of the area surrounding my house pops up.  I can then use my mouse to trace a route.  In my excitement, I immediately traced six different routes of various distances (2.36 – 6.19 miles) from my house!  This is a time saver for me and, with gas prices the way they are,  a money saver. 

When I clicked on the ‘find other runs’ option, I found that there is one other Westlake runner who uses this site, for she or he had a six-mile route logged.  If you go to the ‘click here to view a list of all cities with active…’ you can find out if anyone in your city uses the site and the route and distance they use.  For instance, in Oxford, MS, there is one route listed “Old Sardis Road 16-miler”

What a hidden treasure this site is! Try it and see if it doesn’t meet your needs if you walk, run, or bicycle for exercise or training purposes.

You hear about weirdoes on the internet, but Dan and I have had our share this week.  First some person tried to scam us out of money, and yesterday I was chatting with some guy who just proved that no matter how much education a person has he doesn’t necessarily become less ignorant.

Some person posing as a single female cutie discovered Dan online and decided to strike up a relationship.  According to her, she was in Africa on business and her business is gold purchaser, a business she got into through her mother.  Ordinarily, she said, she lives in New England somewhere.  After she chatted with Dan for a few days, she told him her mother was in the hospital and needed treatment and could he please send her $300 for them to begin treatment or she would die! Okay, I thought, she expects some guy she just met a few days ago online to cough up money and send it to her. And her might very well turn out to be a him or a them.  So Dan told her no and listed her as “spam” so she can never get hold of him again.

I struck up a chatting relationship with this educated guy from Ann Arbor, MI, whose discussions were always intellectually invigorating and who had a great sense of humor.  Even though he was a Republican, we could still chat amicably. Yesterday, however, we were discussing the AIDS epidemic and he proved true what Abraham Lincoln once said, “Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”  I mentioned how it would be hard to be single these days because of the fear of getting HIV, and he said, “Well, you only get it if you’re gay or a junkie.”  Pardon me???  Unbelievable!  I tried to persuade him that if a person has sex with a person with HIV they could get it, but even after I sent him a link to the Center for Disease Control, he refused to believe anything except, “AIDS is the what evolution uses to weed out the weak, like the gays and junkies.”  And here I thought Archie Bunker was dead!

 

 

 

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and my daughter sent me a card, which is more than I can say about me to my own mother.  Maybe it’s partly because I am so indebted to my mother – emotionally, physically, and financially.   There is no way I can ever repay her for everything she has done for me and cards are usually so maudlin that although they may convey my feelings exactly, they do not say enough.

Mom, I am thankful to you for teaching me silly songs when I was very young and singing them with us in the rocking chair.  

I am thankful to you for doing the Charleston on demand when we were young.  

I am thankful to you for sewing Julie and I almost matching dresses even though we complained about it from time to time.  

I am thankful to you for keeping our hopes up by promising things would be different “when our ship comes in.”  

I am thankful that you played the piano and ingrained in my mind a concert-worth of music that will always remind my of you.  

I am thankful for that angel-food birthday cake you made me once that had a doll in the center and her dress a princess skirt made of fluffy white icing.

I am thankful that you put up with me, your most difficult child, in times I was unreasonable and angry.  

I am thankful that you taught me how to set a proper table.

I am thankful that you ran me around to whatever activity I was in at any given time.

I am thankful that you took us camping with our friends.

I am thankful that every Sunday when we got home from church, the smell of a roast beef would greet us – and you had gone to church with us!

I am thankful that you allowed my bedroom to be painted dark blue (even though I wanted it black) and made the draperies to match.

I am thankful that I learned to sew from you.

       I am thankful that you told us stories about what you were like when you were a young girl.

I am thankful for the nights you comforted me when I cried because I was not part of the popular kids in junior high school.

I am thankful that you provided a home for me even when I was old enough to own my own home.

 

Mom, I can never tell you how much you have meant to me because it is more each day.  Why you put up with me is beyond what I can imagine.  Thank you from the bottom of my somewhat shallow heart.  I only pray that you are still around when I do finally grow up.

 

 

Well, it all ended not so peacefully in Lakewood.  The gunman came out and shot at plice, then one cop shot back and the gunman retreated into the house.  The police stormed the house and found the kid dead from one gunshot wound.  Yes --  I said 'kid' -- for he was just 18 years old.  It was unknown immediately if he had killed himself or if the poice bullet had done it.  Turned out to be the police bullet had done him in, but either way,  it was suicide.  If you go to clevelandlive.com you can read the story today.

 

In other more amusing news: Gavin had a spring concert last night and we proved that a committee should not dress a child.  I talked to my daughter and she said that he had to dress up for this concert and I had Gavin for the night, so my daughter said, "okay, I'll bring his dress pants and a shirt and meet you there at 6:15."  Good enough, I thought, so I handed Gavin a bland and silver polka-dot tie to wear and ran him into Lakewood.  We were running late, so I dropped him off at the door while I went to find a place to park.  He jumped out of the car, tie in hand.

 

I found a place to park about a block away, and when I got to the school, the concert had started.  I found my daughter in the audience and went over to stand by her. "Well," I said, "I did at least give him a tie." I shrugged.  Her eyes got wide.  "I hope it was a solid color because the shirt I gave him to put on is plaid," she said. 

 

Onto stage marched the first graders, and in the front row was Gavin clad in his plaid shirt and a polka-dot tie.  We could hardly keep from laughing out loud.  This is what a child dressed by a committee looks like!

Good Lord!  There is a lockdown situation at four schools in Lakewood, one of which my grqndsons attend.  Apparantly there is a gunman in a house on Granger Ave. who has fired shots.  Since Lakewood has no busing for students rendering them all walkers, parents have to pick the children up at the school.  The Catholic Academy, Horace Mann Middle School, and McKinley and Lincoln Elementaries are all ones whose students' paths home could take them within gunshot of this crazy person.  There is a crawler across the bottom of the screen keeping people apprised of any developments.

 

Folks, this is terrorism.  My grandkids are safe inside the school, but I am shaking like a leaf  out of fear that something like this could happen in a town I called home for ten years and that my children and grandchildren live! I can only hope that I hear from someone soon to tell me that my grandbabies are safe in the arms of family.

            My grandson is 11 years old – just peeking into puberty.  His personality is all that the phrase “troubled child” exemplifies.  He is angry at everything and everyone, he hates everything, he gives his mother and Dan and I fits because he refuses to follow any rules or standards set down for him.   We have all agonized over what would be best for the boy.    His aunt thinks he’s too cool for his own good and states that “It’s hard work living up to a cool image.”  He wears his hair long and flopping in his eyes and he has dyed it black.  

His father sets more stringent guidelines when the boy goes to visit, but his father is far away living on Roatan, an island in the Caribbean.  He has always expressed a lot of interest in gaining custody of the boy.  His mother has finally agreed. 

So, come August, when the boy would be coming home from his summer with his father, he won’t come back to Ohio, but stay on the island with his dad.  He will live on the island and go to school on the island.  Hopefully, his father will provide for him what we here in our part of the world have failed to.

Yes, I will miss him, but I know what is not working for the boy and that is life here, and what needs to be done is for everyone to put aside their thoughts of their own desires and put the needs of a child who desperately something else ahead of that.

          I got an email yesterday.  It was a forward and I normally just delete them, but since it was from a dear friend and had an interesting subject (American women) I decided to go ahead and check it out.  When I read it, I was aghast!  The forward suggested that every American woman could take care of terrorists by just taking off their clothes and taking a walk because men who are Islamic, if they see any woman naked except their wives, are to commit suicide.  It said that if we all walked outside naked all the Islamic males would have to do themselves in and we would have killed all the terrorists in our neighborhood.

          I was appalled!  First of all, most Islamic men are not terrorists.    I live in a community where there is a large population of Islamic people.  If this all worked out that way the forward suggested, we would lose a great deal of people and there would be a large number of Islamic women and children mourning the losses of their husbands and fathers.  And they would have become victims of terrorism of a different kind – the subtle kind that ignorant Americans can produce through things like emails.

          Secondly, all terrorists are not Islamic!  Think Timothy VcVie or the Unabomber or the playground bully or Adolph Hitler or his followers or gangs that roam the streets of America.  They are not Islamic, but they are terrorists nonetheless.

          Anyway, I responded to all with the following:

 

Jean,  I was a bit dismayed to see the forward you sent to me.  A lot of the people who live in the western suburbs of Cleveland are Islamic, but they are NOT terrorists.  What the forward is asking people to do is to ask Islamic people to turn against their religion and I don't think that's right.  I would never do anything that might trouble my neighbors to the point they would consider suicide. Please do not send me any more messages that spread hatred and not love.

          Well, I got an immediate response from her apologizing for not reading the forward more thoroughly before sending it, but calling me on the carpet for replying to all on the subject. Then I got an angry email from her friend who wrote IN ALL CAPS.  This woman told me off in no uncertain terms that I was mean and I really hurt Jean’s feelings.

          So that’s my dilemma!  Oh, and did I tell you that this woman is my grandson’s other grandma?

 

A recent column in The Plain Dealer made reference to a web-site that debunks internet rumors and urban legends: http://www.snopes.com/.   Curious, I sought the page, which is actually a very large network of pages.  It is interesting.  There are hundreds, if not thousands, of pages of explanations of rumors and their origins. For instance, even though I do not smoke pot, I know the term “420.”  I was drawn to it because I wondered if the origins of the term that I had heard were true.  I will paste a portion of this web page so you can see for yourself.

 

Claim:   '420' entered drug parlance as a term signifying the time to light up a joint.

Status:   True.

Origins: Odd terms sneak into our language every now and then, and this is one of the oddest. Everyone who considers himself in the know about the drug subculture has heard that '420' has something to do with illegal drug use, but when you press them, they never seem to know why, or even what the term supposedly signifies.

It's both more and less than people make it out to be. '420' began its sub-rosa linguistic career in 1971 as a bit of slang casually used by a group of high school kids at San Rafael High School in California. '420' (always pronounced "four-twenty," never "four hundred and twenty") came to be an accepted part of the argot within that group of about a dozen pot smokers, beginning as a reminder of the time they planned to meet to light up, 4:20 p.m. Keep in mind this wasn't a general call to all dope smokers everywhere to toke up at twenty past four every day; it was twelve kids who'd made a date to meet near a certain statue. It's thus incorrect to deem that '420' originated as a national or international dope-smoking time, even though the term began as a reference to a particular time of day.

Indeed, [many today] instead believe one or more of the many spurious explanations that have since grown up about this much abused short form:

·       420 is the penal code section for marijuana use in California.

Nope. Section 420 of the California penal code refers to obstructing entry on public land. The penal codes of other states list different entries for 420, but none of them matches anything having to do with marijuana.

However, on 1 January 2004 the Governor of California signed that state's Senate Bill 420 which regulates marijuana used for medical purposes. This bill comes years after the term '420' was associated with marijuana and indeed its number likely was chosen because of the existing pop culture connection. This is the tail wagging the dog, not the other way around.

·       It's the Los Angeles or New York police radio code for marijuana smoking in progress.

It's not the police radio code for anything, let alone that.

·       It's the number of chemical compounds in marijuana.

The number of chemical compounds in marijuana is 315, according to the folks at High Times magazine.

·       April 20 is the date that Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, or Janis Joplin died

• Though these performers were strongly identified with drug use during their brief lifetimes and the emerging drug culture after their demises, none of them kicked the bucket on April 20. Morrison died on July 3, Hendrix on September 18, and Joplin on October 4.

 

• The 20th of April is the best time to plant marijuana.

There's no one "best time" -- that answer would change from one part of the country to another, or even one country to another.

• Albert Hofmann took the first deliberate LSD trip at 4:20 on 19 April 1943.

This was indeed the case — his lab notes back this up. But this wasn't the source of "420," just an oddball coincidence. (For the pedants out there, Hofmann's first LSD trip, which was accidental, took place on 16 April 1943.)

• It's the code you send to your drug dealer's pager.

Yeah, right. All drug dealers recognize a '420' page as "Please be waiting on the corner with my baggie of wildwood weed."

• When the Grateful Dead toured, they always stayed in Room 420.

Untrue, says Grateful Dead Productions spokesman Dennis McNally.

Well, I had always heard and believed the second rumor, but here’s one that seems to be unbelievable in this age of 420:  the phone number to by tickets for a Cleveland Indians game is area code 216, 420-HITS!!  If you don’t believe me, call the number or go to the Indians website at http://cleveland.indians.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/cle/ticketing/index.jsp